Twenty-Six

This past year has been the most difficult year I’ve ever lived. The amount of stress I’ve put myself through is mind-blowing and, truth be told, I’ve come close to a mental breakdown more than once.

It all started way back in December of 2017 when I came to Barcelona, Spain, to blow off some steam from relationships that had gone to shit back home in Tallinn, Estonia. Then my wallet got stolen, in it was my EU ID card (yes, Europeans don’t actually need a passport to travel and therefore I didn’t have one), which made sure I was now stuck in Spain.

Instead of figuring out what to do, I decided to party on. Then since my ability to enable people to have a good time got noticed by the hostel I was staying in, I got offered a public relations position there (unpaid, but free accommodation!) where I just had to make sure people drank a lot of alcohol, were entertained and got taken to the club with all their belongings still attached to them. Without me noticing, 4 months had passed by and my funds had ran out.

Reluctant to go home, still. And I felt I didn’t have enough of a break from software development yet, I decided to use some of the friends I’ve made while “partying my life away” and through one got an actually paying job in another hostel, so then life carried on for another month and a half or so.

Then I met someone special. Together we went to Nice, France. Another month passed by yet again and at this point it was July and I still hadn’t thought about what to do with my life. And then one morning I woke up and I felt it. I felt I was ready to dive into software development again. I felt this time I’m going to be committed beyond oblivion. Almost like a fire in me had awoken.

But I still didn’t want to go back to the north. I felt like my time there is done. It’s time for an entirely new chapter, I thought. So I moved back to Barcelona, got me a new passport, which was a horror inducing endeavor and started the very painful process of finding a job and getting all the necessary paperwork done for me to able to live and work in Spain, which was another horror inducing endeavor.


I’m now closer to 30 than to 20. The experiences of the past year have helped craft my vision for the future, which I previously have lacked. I now have a job, which I start on 25th of September, where I intend to be a valuable part of the team. I want to build some seriously cool stuff, both at work and at home, meet incredible people and slowly, but surely, over this new year of life build a solid foundation on top of which I can iterate easily in the years coming after. This is merely the beginning.